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How I Lost My Confidence (and got it back!)


Losing confidence can happen to anyone.  It recently happened to me.  Stopped me in my tracks.  I couldn't really believe it was happening.  Not to me.

In the blink of an eye everything changed.  I walked across the garden, tripped and fell onto my wrist.  It was fractured.  Several hours in A&E,  surgery the next day and several weeks in a cast.

Now I like to keep myself active with a brisk walk every morning.  I didn't want my injury to hold me back so a few days after my fall I set off as usual.  I was not expecting what happened next.

With every step the ground beneath me felt like marshmallow.  It was like being on the deck of a ship.  I couldn't take my eyes off the ground in front of me - checking for the tiniest of obstacles that could bring me down.  I wanted to hold on to hedges and walls for support.  Frankly I was terrified.

My walk was painfully slow and very short!  I felt vulnerable and exposed.  All I wanted to do was sit down on the pavement.  I realized that what I was experiencing was loss of confidence.  I didn't feel safe doing something I have done without a second thought since I took my first step sixty two years ago.  I felt pathetic, stupid and silly.  I could have cried.

So I did just the opposite.  I put a smile on my face and made myself go out again the next day.  Every day I repeated positive statements in my head about feeling safe and confident. I used my professional skills, employing Emotional Freedom Technique to deal with the fear and anxiety.  I reminded myself of all the challenges I've faced and how well I coped.  And I told myself it was okay to feel wrong footed (no pun intended) for a while.  That it would pass.

By the time the cast came off my walking was as natural as it had always been.  But it could have been very different.  It would have been so easy to stay at home and feel safe.  But that would only have reinforced the fear.  It is harder, at first, to push yourself.  But my brain needed proof that the fall wasn't going to be repeated, before I could feel safe.  I needed to reassure it of my confidence by actually making the statements in my head.  

Of course my training and experience meant I recognized what was happening with me and how to deal with it.  I was able to sort it out for myself.  People without my background can find it harder to deal with loss of confidence.  If not tackled early on it grows stronger and can undermine any aspect of life.

You may recognize yourself or someone you know in my little tale.  If so I urge you to get some help as soon as you can.  Lost confidence can feel permanent but it doesn't have to be. It's just knowing how to get it back.

For more information about loss of confidence and how I can help you, contact me via email at or telephone 07508 504230.

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confidence, fear, anxiety, Emotional Freedom Technique, positive statements

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